On an extended break from scambaiting . . .

Obviously.

Work has been hectic for, oh . . . the past year and a half :(

I'm sure I'll return to the Usman Bello's of the world eventually. I hope so anyway.

The Bello bait is still chugging along

Sorry I've been too lazy to post lately here, but this bait is still going on.  Updates can be found on this thread at 419eater.

The forms are in

Dear Ernst,

 

This are the completed forms. I appreciate your effort, have a nice day and God bless. 

 

Regards,

Joy

Great job, Mrs. Bello!  Unfortunately, you forgot two pages.  Ernst has sent her a friendly reminder and I'll post the rest when I get them.

Credit goes to NN at eater for the forms :)

What are the aim, meaning and goals of a wicker man? That's a good question.

Mrs. Bello really liked the creepy e-card Hank sent her for Christmas :)

Dear Hank,   I thank you very much for the  e-card you sent to me.   May your days be fullfilled.   Regards, Joy ------ Dear Mrs. Bello, I'm glad you liked it.  I picked it because the cat looks like my own cat, although mine is a white persian, so it has longer hair. I was wondering, how many twigs have you gathered?  You've had a few weeks, you should have plenty to start working on the wicker man by now. Ciao, Hank ------ Dear Hank,   Thank you for the mail, Hank please i am still expecting the funds.   I promise you that as for the twig and the wicker man i will get it done. Please can you please explain better the aim and meaning and goals of the wicker man?   Please contact Mr. Blofield.   Regards, Joy Well Joy, normally a wicker man is used to burn Edward Woodward and/or Nicolas Cage alive in, but since I doubt you have either one of them available at the moment, I'll just have to make something up . . . eventually.  Meanwhile, Ernst is having to break the bad news about the forms to Mrs. Bello.  The bad news is that she has multiple pages of forms to fill out. Dear Ernst,   Thank you for the mail. Please i will want to know if the form is completed and when are you sending the funds to me?   Regards, Joy ------

Dear Joy,

I think you misunderstood me.  The form is ready, but you will need to complete it before I can get Western Union to give me the proper MTCN numbers to give to you.

Because of the size of the payment (even when broken down in installments), you must first complete, scan and send back to me the following Western Union Security Validation forms.  Because we are a corporation, we must have the forms completed by you as proof that the money is not going to "advance fee" or "419" scams.  

Individuals sending money do not have to do this, but, as I said earlier, we are a corporation and any money sent by a corporation via Western Union in excess of $1,000 must have proof that the receiver is cleared by security.

I have attached the pages our legal department told me to send you.  That was the delay before, our legal department had to verify which forms were required.

Thank you for your patience and once I show legal these completed forms, the MTCN numbers should be on their way to you in no time.

Sincerely,

Ersnt

If/when the lad actually sends back the fake forms, I'll post them.  And yeah, I know Ernst's name is spelled wrong at the end.  Even super villains get tired ;)

Why Ernst Stravo Blofield doesn't celebrate Thanksgiving

Dear Ernst,

 

How do you do? How was your thanksgiving? hope all is well if so splendid.

Hope to hear from you soon.

 

Regards,

Joy

---

Dear Joy,

I am originally from Germany and grew up in Poland, so I do not celebrate Thanksgiving personally.

Your paperwork is almost complete.  Everyone is back at work at Globex now.

Sincerely,

Ernst

-----

Dear Ernst,

 

Thank you for your mail i will be expecting you. I thought you are from USA, but where do you reside in USA i mean your State? and how was live when you where growing up in Poland?

 

Hope to hear from you soon.

 

Regards,

Joy

Time to look up "Blofeld" on wikipedia again.

Dear Joy,

In answer to your question, I reside in New York but, since Globex is a multinational corporation, I travel between our various offices in New York, Geneva, Las Vegas, Tokyo and Berlin.

Growing up in Poland, I attended the University of Warsaw where I studied economics and political history.  I also spent some time at the Warsaw University of Technology studying engineering and radionics.  After that, I took a position at the Polish Ministry of Posts and Telegraphs, using my position to buy and sell stocks.  Then I was recruited by Mr. Scorpio to head the accounting department at Globex, where I still am.

Sincerely,

Ernst

Merry Christmas from the creepy white cat

Dear Ernst, 

I am sorry i cant understand what you are saying but i wish you well but as for me i dont know what to say bye till when we hear from each other again. At least i know that i have excersise a lot of patient. Ernst sending money through western union from my own understanding does not take process like this but i dont know what is really going on over there is like there is some hanky panky somewhere. 

Send my regards to Hank till we meet again. 

Joy 

-----

Joy, 

I can assure there is no hanky panky. As an accountant, I must work by the rules of our company or risk termination. I have to fill out certain paperwork and get it approved before I send the money order. It is unfortunate that your payment is during the holiday time, but that is the situation. I can not just walk out of the office with over $20,000 without the proper paperwork. 

I am quite insulted by your tone frankly, but nonetheless, I hope you have a good Thanksgiving. 

Sincerely, 
Ernst 

----

Dear Mrs. Bello, 
I just came into the office to do a quick check of my e-mail before heading out to the turkey farm and I see this e-mail from you! 

What is the meaning of this? Are you telling me that Ernst has still not sent you the payment? I'm so mad! There is not even anyone in the office to yell at because they are all on vacation! 

I have to go now and I won't be back until Monday, but I hope you can get this straightened out before then. I am very upset! This is not the mood I wanted to be in for Thanksgiving! 

-Hank

----

All of a sudden, Mrs. Bello finds the spirit of the season.

Dear Hank, 
How do you do? How was your thanksgiving? hope all is well if so splendid. Thank you for the last mail you sent to me. 
Expecting to hear from you soon. 
Regards, 
Joy 

----

Dear Mrs. Bello, 

My Thanksgiving was wonderful, thank you for asking. 

First, me and all the little Scorpios (I have three) went and picked out a turkey. Then Hank Jr. took it behind the woodshed and plucked it. Mrs. Scorpio baked three pies - pecan, peach and pumpkin. We also had rolls, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, stuffing, that gelatinous stuff - what's it called, oh yeah cranberry sauce (which looks like neither cranberries nor sauce, but Hank Jr. loves the stuff). We also had some vegetables, but I don't remember what they were because they weren't important. 

The next day, we all went out to Walmart to get some great deals, and barring a few unfortunate incidents, got some great gifts for the workers at Globex. I don't want to brag, but some people may need a bigger stocking this year. 

Oh, and the Globex Christmas tree is up in the lobby. The big tall guy who works in Mr. Stromberg's department got it on sale. 

Sincerely, 
Hank 

P.S. Has Ernst taken care of that thing for you yet? 

-----

Dear Hank, 
I wish you and your entire family a happy Christmas in advance. Send my regards to Hank Jr. and Mrs.Scorpio. 
Yours sincerely, 
Joy 

Well, the only response to that is to send an e-card - and since Hank is an evil super-villain, a white cat seemed the most appropriate.

http://www.bluemountain.com/view.pd?i=200232352&m=7323&vc=1&source=bma&sync=1

A Twig can be defined as any small, leafless branch of a woody plant

Dear Ernst, 

Please Mr. Ernst I am sorry with the spellings and the english. I mean you can send it bit by bit eg $9,000 Dollars twice and $3,420 once through western union money transfer. Please i will be glad to receive it that way and i appreciate your effort. 

Regards, 
Mrs. Joy Bello

-----

Dear Joy, 

I have been out sick for a few days with a horrible head cold. I was fine when I woke up Thursday morning, but by lunchtime I had a very sore throat and the cold progressed from there. 

Thank you for your explanation. I will gather the necessary forms and get back to you next week, right after I take my cat to the vet. 

Thank you, 
Ernst 

Meanwhile, Hank tries to explain to Joy about the whole "wicker man" ceremony he wants her to perform.

Dear Mrs. Bello, 
Here at Globex, we traditionally build a small wicker man and set him on fire for good luck. We call it a cleansing ceremony. 
I can send you instructions on how to build one if you would like. 
Sincerely, 
Hank 

-------

Dear Hank, 
I am interested. 
Mrs. Bello

-----

Dear Mrs. Bello, 
How are you? How is the twig gathering going. Let me know when you have a bunch and then I'll send you the schematics. 
How are things progressing with Mr. Blofield? 
Ciao, 
Hank 

------

Dear Hank, 
A Twig can be defined as any small, leafless branch of a woody plant. 
I am very sorry for not written you all this while. As for the twig i have not organized any but i promise you i will do that soon. 
I am still waiting to hear from Mr. Blofield and I wish the payment will be made today. 

My Regards, 
Joy 

-----

Dear Mrs. Bello, 
Yes! Correct! That is indeed the definition of a twig. Now what you need to do is gather a lot of them. If you think you have too many, you don't. You will need a lot of twigs. 
I just ran into Ernst in the employee break room and he said he e-mailed you yesterday that he was preparing your forms. Did he not contact you yesterday? If not, I will give him a piece of my mind! 
Later, 
Hank

----

Dear Hank,   How do you do? Mr. Hank Please from my own understanding the word WICKER MAN i will have to gather enough twigs to form an image or a statue of a person.   I am interested in the ceremony but please you will have to give me time to gather enough twigs and secondly please you know i will like you to also contact Mr. Blofield to send the funds to me.   Regards, Mrs. Joy Bello Unfortunately, the holidays are coming up, even at Globex! Dear Ernst,  How do you do? Please i am still waiting to hear from you. Please Ernst i am pressed can you tell me when the funds will get to me?  I will be a happy person to receive this funds please Ernst.  Regards,  Joy  --- Dear Joy,  Hello, I am fine.  Regarding the funds, I am still working on the paperwork. Unfortunately, due to the holidays this time of year, a lot of Globex's employees are on vacation and that is causing the process to move more slowly that I would like. Also, our offices are closed next week due to Thanksgiving (Mr. Scorpio gives all of his employees the entire week off instead of just Thursday and Friday. He sure is a generous boss).  I will try to move as quickly as possible to get the needed forms today. However, since Ms. Klebb is on vacation, they might not be ready until when we re-open, December 1st.  Please be patient with me, I am working very hard on this.  Sincerely,  Ernst